Posts Tagged ‘humour’

The E.U is a funny thing. I don’t mean that in an “oh isn’t it funny that Romania and Bulgaria still aren’t full members.” I mean that in a “ha ha, that looks like a ….” way.

Norway remain as non-EU members, sitting happily above Sweden and Finland who are full members. Accordingly, it’s not featured on the map of the EU Europe that graces the Euro coins. Not a problem for them, they have their own currency. But for Sweden and Finland, it makes them the butt of a joke. Well, not the butt exactly…

2 euros

As a regular user of the Euros I was surprised I hadn’t noticed this before. I even had to dig one out of my pocket to check but, sure enough. I have to wonder if this is the real reason Norway haven’t become EU members yet, as it means that Sweden looks like a different kind of member…

Somehow, despite my numerous alerts and scans of the news pages, I’ve only just heard about this. Surely the best news story that has emerged this year.

sega gun hostage

In Brazil late this February, a man named Gustavo (great name) took a woman hostage at gunpoint and held her for a 10 hour hostage-negotiation ordeal with the police after entering the house to recover a R$42 debt.

Only thing is, he did this using a Sega gun. You know the thing everyone used to use on Safari Hunt of Alex Kidd in Miracle World? The very same. To hold a person hostage.

“Stop or I’ll shoot!” And what?? She’ll vanish and enter screen-right again in two seconds?

I’m not sure what’s more amusing – the fact that this guy had the brass jacobs to pull it off in the first place of the fact that it took Brazilian police 10 hours to talk someone using a gaming accessory to let his hostage go.

Seriously: look at it! Does it look remotely real? What kind of guns do they have in Brazil? Maybe they all grew up playing Duck Hunt instead …

Next week:  Xbox controllers become the accessories for kidnap?

In need of amusement on one of those work days where nothing seems to get done except further requests filling the inbox, I remembered seeing an advert a few years ago that made me chuckle and thinking it was for a VW, ended up finding this: 

For those that don’t speak Dutch (myself included) the wording reads:  The company that continues, even if you are stopped. 

Or if I’ve got that last word wrong and it’s “gestapt” not gestopt” : The company that keeps going as you are stepped on.

Either way I can’t see where the humour is. It’s clearly designed to be funny but I guess it’s a purely cultural or language-based joke as it’s beyond me.

I’m trying to think of an English equivelant: a van parked up at a Sussex beach in that half-sun half-rain weather selling deck chairs for a fiver only to be outdone by some elderly couple selling them on for £6 from the back of a better, albeit cheaper van?

This was a shocker, but UK tv channel Gold commissioned a survey that today announced that us “cheery, stuff-upper lip” Brits are in fact the angriest nation in Europe. 

The survey found that, on average, we get angry four times a day while those hot-headed Italians only manage 3.5 bouts of anger. How do you manage half a bout of anger? “What??! Are you… oh, no. It’s ok” ?

The biggest causes for our anger have been labelled as queue jumping, rude service, foreign call centres and traffic jams. Seems perfectly reasonable to get hacked off at that. 36% said that racism and bigotry made them made too. 

The survey was commissioned as part of the channel’s celebration of notorious anger junky Basil Fawlty and head of Gold, Paul Moreton said “we can all relate to a Basil Fawlty type character but there’s something quite endearing about Basil. After all, he is quintessentially British!”

Given the time of Fawlty Towers, I’d love to see how Basil reacted to trying to phone his bank, having found his branch closed, and be put through to a foreign call centre where nobody has that good a grasp of English. 

The survey questioned six thousand adults from Britain, Spain,  Italy, Austria, Germany, Greece, Portugal, Sweeden, Norway, Denmark and, of course, the French.

The French admitted to losing their temper three times a day and claim their biggest annoyance being bad food and restaurant service. I spend a lot of time in Paris and I should add the French to what makes this Brit angry, I find it highly hypocritical for them to complain about restaurant service when they fail to give even basic service anywhere else. Would it kill them to acknowledge a customer once in a while? 

I wonder how angry the Americans get, what hacks off an American?

Or certainly the animal-lover.. this was sent around the office this morning as a playlist -though only the first will play in a frame here. However, if you fancy going “nooooo” while breathing in sharply… the link to the whole list is at the end.

Given my driving record of late in relation to pheasants on the way into work – the reason behind this compilation – it’s probably going to be best if I leave the race car driving to the xbox – dead kangaroos and rabbits aren’t the best accessories for a car.

 

( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGJ0fJN10YY&feature=PlayList&p=6FC8DA21CD9FDB8F&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=83 )

Last week, after bemoaning the questionable appropriateness of it its over-enthusiastic advert, I got to see the new Renault Megane in the flesh for the first time. I felt stupid. My rant about how it didn’t qualify for such adoration was, I now admit, wrong. 

The adverts don’t do it justice. The new Megane is one of those cars that has to be seen to be really appreciated. Though I do wonder… do those driving the last of the old-shape Meganes feel a bit miffed? 

For example, last year I bought myself a very nice new guitar. Having tried numerous guitars throughout the day I was really pleased with the one I bought. Then, just after a month later, I read that the manufacturer had signed a deal with some amazing guitar craftsman and they were adding a new pick-up system to the model that I’d only recently purchased. Now I can’t help but wonder if my guitar would sound a lot better with the new pick-ups. If  I’d bought it just six weeks later instead I would’ve had the ‘new’ model.

Same with CDs in a way. I’ll buy an album and a few months later there’s a special-edition out with a  couple of extra tracks. Obviously those tracks aren’t gonna be great or they’d be there on the original but they may be something that I’d really like on a personal level and could’ve had if I’d been told ahead of time or waited a few more months.

Does the same apply to car-buyers? Like with the new Megane, it’s only been out a few months so there’s not many but there’s still a lot of end-of-2008 models on the road. Are there people driving around in 58 plate Renault Meganes with the unattractive SUV-like backside wondering “if only I’d visited that Renault dealer in March I’d be in a better looking and handling Megane” ?

I’d love to know if anyone reading this has done just that: bought a car only to be a bit cheesed off when a newer, better looking model is launched the next year?